"What to do?"

This would be so much easier if we both were 100% certain on our desires for our family. I think we are both still "sitting on the fence." My heart longs for a little girl with beautiful black curls. It really, honestly does. The children are so beautiful and in a short amount of time I've fallen in love with the country of Africa. But I'm also content with my perfect little family of four. And the money, goodness.. the money.. it costs so much to adopt! We have money, but we would have to take out a loan for a while. We can just dish over $17,000 to $20,000+ in such a short period of time. (We could potentially have everything legal & completed by the end of the year if we started today.)

I wish there was more of a 'waiting children' program for Ethiopia. I feel like it would be easier to see their sweat little faces, to pray about a specific child, and to make the next step if we knew who we were doing it for.

So if this doesn't happen, what's next? What is God asking of us? It seems very unclear right now.

Things to prayerfully consider

1.) "Fake it till you make it" aka The transition (sometimes can be very hard.)

Read the raw emotions of this mom who just came home with her little guy. It's painful & real. These children have been taken from everything they know, their country, language, food, surroundings, friends, foster family or nannies at the orphanage. They are in pain, often sick, and they are acting out. Combine caring for this little person, who wants nothing to do with you and cannot be comforted, with shear exhaustion. (And I thought the infant stage was hard with my biological kids!)
** Should we continue our adoption journey, I will be asking, or maybe begging, our family for lots of help those first weeks.
Here's another story of the beginning: here
And one more here.

2.) RAD (Reactive attachment disorder)

The agency did say that children under 5 do not typically have long term attachment problems and can be helped greatly with therapy if they do have problems. However it is still something to be aware of, to learn, and to prepare for.

3.) The Child's Age

Our children are 11 & 6. They will be 12 & 7 a year from now. If we took in an infant there will be a huge age gap. Do we want to "start over?" Emotionally I think that an infant would be easier. (Bonding.. etc.) But we are talking more like a preschool aged child (age 3?)

4.) Traveling to another country

This was a concern in the beginning. I now think that travelling to Ethiopia would be an wonderful experience!

5.) Daycare:

Would my family be willing to help us out with daycare for longer than what they expected. My youngest will be in school full time in September.

Still waiting for a "sign." An open door that begs for us to walk through. A nudge (or a push) in the right direction.

For now, we wait. We talk. We think. We pray. And we feel closer to our friends who have adopted. We feel like we understand the process in greater depth than ever before.

Our initial agency meeting

First, I want to thank my sister for watching Hunter today while I (we) attended this meeting. Hunter was sick over the weekend and we had the meeting scheduled during the time he would have been in school. How sweet she is in allowing my little man to come stay with her during my non-exsistant dental appointment! Love ya Robyn! :) (I haven't shared any of this with my family yet.)

The meeting with Sally went well. Talked a lot & I learned a little. I felt fairly well educated going in, but we needed to know that we, in fact, had a good understanding of the process.

We have more talking, thinking, and praying to do on the subject before we continue. If we decide to start the process today, we could be a family of 5 within a year or so.

Agency Meeting

Our first consult is scheduled for this coming Monday, Feb 22nd.

"I need Africa more than Africa needs me"

Happy Birthday Hunter

Happy (belated) birthday to my little Valentine! Hunter turned 6 on Feb 14th! We held a "pirate" themed party on the 15th with a few of his Kindergarten friends. Where has time gone?!

Quote-

"Not all of us are called to bring another child into our family ... but we are all called to help care for orphans. These children are not merely statistics. They are real, uniquely designed precious human beings. Our family understands that sometimes the stakes are high. Sometimes those mountains just seem too tall. Sometimes friends and family don't understand. But these children understand. They are filled with hope that someone out there will hear their cry."